This is gonna b rlly messy but I just wanted to write all of this down somewhere. They’re all related to my wellbeing though, so they’re not all completely unrelated!
Things needed for my wellbeing:
Routine Ideas (Small things I should do everyday/ potential things to add)
Where to put…my todo list…
I function off of todo lists. Wow. I feel so much more functional whenever I use google calendar and todo lists. I need this! truly…I used to keep physical todo lists…which I could totally bring back…But it is very handy to have it digitally….But tbh I think physical is best bc thats whats been working best for me so far sooooo I’ll just need to get myself a nice notepad or mini book that I can use…Mini notebook migh actually rlly be nice bc then I can keep all of my todo lists! But also idm notepads. Whichever I find first ig!
What have I been consuming?
This morning I was thinking that I wanted to start reading To The Lighthouse, but also I already have like 234908903483 games 109280291 films to finish 0919843092 shows to watch UGH…I wan to finish things I’ve already started first! But also I think that is the fun of consuming content ig…I mean at the end of the day, this is all supposed to be fun! Even so, I think a little more organization wouldn’t hurt, and I thought keeping track of what I’m currently reading/consuming would help me bring myself peace of mind! So I’ll list them here in no particular order…:
Exposure to things I want to work on/enjoy
I am very impressionable, and get motivation to do stuff if I look at something related. I’m sure that’s everyone buuutt…yeah! For example, if I’m looking at art fight stuff, I’ll start thinking more about art fight! If I see cool websites on necoities, I’ll want to work on my website more! Maybe finding inspiration and motivation consciously should start from building an ecosystem of things I WANT to be influenced by. The most realistic and practical manifestation of this is making moodboards on pinterests…but I also thinking prompting myself to journal about something I want to get into is also a good way. At the end of the day, I think the key is to reserve some space in your head for the things you like to stay! So you can keep yourself interested!
On that note, I need more videos on my yt feed ab how bad shorts r so I can keep consciously thinking ab it
Planning sessions…And planning with a larger time frame in mind!
So the tricky thing with planning…In general I like to work on things in 1 sitting, or multiple prolonged sessions. But in terms of building routine, I like working on multiple things with a short timeframe because I can check off a bunch of boxes and feel productive (i.e. reading emails, swipewipe, a game of worlde). I think it’s very important to differentiate these two! But also it’s good to work by a case by case basis as well…There’s always different contexts to things.
Anyways. But in non-routine contexts (like I have some film I want to watch), I suck at planning! I think it’s bc I think on a day by day basis…As in, I keep thinking “OH I HAVE TO DO THIS TODAYYYY I NEED TO DO IT TODAYY…OR SUPER SOOn…LIKE TMR….” which makes me think I literally have no time! I think it’s really about thinking ahead and just making the call to watch that film like! 5 days later! I think I’m mainly hesitant on making plans that are more further away (besides hangouts) because I’m worried of how spontaneous I am! Like! I get worried I’ll probably just find something else to do during then, which makes planning things in advance pointless! But I truly do just want to get better at planning…so that I can focus more on the activity itself instead of wondering what I should be doing w my time 24/7! LIKE U ALREADY HAVE A LIST OF STUFF TO DO BRO…I need to train myself to plan more ahead, and also to be more committed to those plans! To know what I’m gonna do! To be able to make flyers on canva for everything I want to do! To feel like I’m in 500 clubs, all owned and led by me! THen my life wouldn’t feel so…freeking…out of control and all…It’s easy to have ideas…but it’s always super hard to execute!
I need to learn to be less spontaneous and clueless on what I’m doing. Especially for things like weed too! Like I want to be able to lay out how the smoking session is gonna go from start to finish..Like…I’ll watch this show, I’ll take a long shower, I’ll order some food from xyz, I’ll go to bed around xx….then I just know I’ll be soo much happier
Hence, the new paradigm for planning!
I should bring back weekly and monthly goals…and have a general idea of what I want to do/ get done across a larger timeframe!
If I WERE to wake up early!
I’ve been very much enjoying taking my time doing bullllshiiiittt before showing up to lab…Doesn’t impact my work as much and I feel like ppl dont care tbh soo I think its been good. But I always dream of being a morning person bc just symbolically it screams leisure and knowing how to manage time. I want to wake up…journal…have tea at a nice place…but ig that would cost moneyyyyyy blehh and the idea of going out just to walk in the park and not spend money…is boring! But i also dont want to stay indoors if im waking up early! I mean, ig its fine. Like imagine having enough time to watch a movie or some short film before coming to work! Shiit!!!! Thats so sick! Even just journaling in the morning will prob put me a in a good headspace before I show up to work :] Or I can also justtt go to avery or smth and do bullshiiitt on my laptop…I love my laptop and I like libraries :p I mean I have a thermos. I can make iced tea! Oo iced tea and library hehehehehehe I rlly want!!! To do a chill, cutesy, cozy, small activity during this weekend where I just sit in the library…and do cute laptop stuff!!!!!!!
Finding new ways to “take the edge off”
BC I KEEP DRINKING OR SMOKING WHEN I COME HOME TIRED AND BORED. This is stupid and so bad for my tolerance! And also alcohol fucking sucks! But more than that I care ab my weed!!!! My gummies!!!! My gummies and pen need to fucking HIIIITTTT….PLEASE…I need to stop. It doesn’t even last that long anyway if I’m microdosing all the time too! UGH! The idea way to take the edge off would be…well eating sweets! Already do that anyway and its great. I kinda just enjoy reserving that for the night! And also ideally I would work on or watch some fun stuff… art fight im a bit scared of in terms of self-restraint…and I’m thinking death stranding might be a good commitment. Idk. feel bad for not having been playing. Watching vids on yt…fun videos on yt! Just no shorts. No shorts!!
Planning for this week..? Finding compromises, making time, what are we doing this weekend!!!
Was thinking meet new ppl buuuttt idk im not rlly feeling anything w my recent hinge matches! Maybe I can meet up w anna but idk either! I’m thinking why not just keep it simple…Maybe I’ll just meet up w ngan and sophie just bc lolol..
Other (Literally just other random stuff on my mind)
Also just in general stop watching reels I’ll fucking. Kill. you. STOP.